The Worst Place in the World to be a Woman?

The
author of this week’s blog is Jackie Paling, SIGBI Assistant Programme Director
for Human Rights/Status of Women. Jackie has travelled extensively around the
world and says that her experiences have provided her with a truly excellent
education. A regular visitor to Afghanistan, Jackie takes out
humanitarian aid and supports various projects out there. A retired engineer,
she often uses her creative skills to help Afghan women with their handicrafts.

I am sitting in a small room. The window is open but the breeze is
slight, the air hot and dusty. The temperature is over 100 degrees. I sweat
heavily due to the clothing I am wearing and the women I am with must feel the
same.  They are bored and languid. One of
them brings me a cup of green tea and a small dish of nuts and dried fruit. I
try to imagine myself in the situations of these cowed women.  It doesn’t bear thinking about.

I am in woman’s safe house
somewhere in Afghanistan. I will
not say where as I must not only protect the women I am with whilst I am here
but also myself. The women face severe injury and possibly death if the
perpetrators of their abuse, particularly in-laws and extended families find
out where they are.

It is said that Afghanistan is the
worst place in the world to be a woman. Abuses include domestic violence,
forced marriage, rape, honour killing, temporary marriage, trafficking and
abduction. Family honour is everything and Afghan women often endure the most
appalling treatment in silence.  Most
cases of physical abuse of women (and children) go unreported due to societal
acceptance. Divorce is considered shameful and dishonourable, and a woman
leaving a marriage loses her children. Unlike in the Western world, Afghan
society does not accept women living on their own and takes the view that
shelters/safe houses provide homes for immoral women and hence these are seen
as brothels.

There are a limited number of shelters for women victims of domestic
and other violence. These have been independently set up and run by local
Afghan women’s NGOs and are supported by other external NGOs. Although they are
meant to provide a temporary home for the victims, there are enormous challenges
to re-integrating these women into society. As well as accommodation the women
are given their basic needs, rights awareness training and also vocational
training, which is why I am here.

In some cases, women may be moved to other parts of the country,
though this is limited and the number of safe houses is low. Sometimes a woman
may be moved out of the country to Pakistan if a
safe haven can be found for her. And incredibly, I am told, some women have
even been persuaded to get married again, usually to a man of lower caste, who
does not mind if his wife is a widow or divorcee. The men would of course have
to be very carefully vetted.

Women seeking legal redress find discrimination within the judicial
system. UN Women, the Ministry of Women’s Affairs and other civil society
organisations have been instrumental in setting up Legal Centres specifically
for women to seek advice and learn about their rights. These Centres are
continuing to make an impact.  Many women
of course have no access to them, and it is planned to increase the numbers.

Earlier this year the Afghan government introduced a bill to allow
them to take over control of all women’s shelters in Afghanistan through
the Ministry of Women’s Affairs. If this bill had become law, woman and girls
seeking refuge would have been required to plead their case before a Government
panel, which would include conservative members of the Supreme Court and
Ministry of Justice. This panel would decide if a woman should be put in a
shelter, sent to jail or returned home (and hence to her abusers). Once a woman
was in a shelter she would be forbidden to leave.

This produced an outcry, not only from NGOs working with Afghan women
but from other world-wide women’s organisations.  President Karzai has since announced that the
Afghan government would not after all take over these women’s shelters. However
some sort of regulation is welcomed to ensure that women’s safety is paramount,
and therefore it is essential for all of us to keep up the pressure.

Sometimes the women are so desperate to escape their lives that they
set fire to themselves in a suicide attempt. Their intended self-immolation is
not always successful and they are left with terrible injuries. In recent years
I have met two such women whose stories are typical.  One woman was violently beaten on several
occasions by her husband, and treated like a slave by his family. She could not
leave, as this would bring shame on her family, so in desperation she poured
some kerosene (which is commonly used for cooking and heating) over herself and
set herself alight. Neither her husband nor his family did anything to help
her. A neighbour heard her screams, rescued her, and took her to hospital. She
suffered serious burns and needed weeks of treatment. She was luckier than most
in that her own family had agreed to take her back and demanded a divorce from
her husband, who has since agreed.

And what of the women here with me today?  They are learning handicrafts primarily to
keep them busy, mentally as well as physically, and initiatives are being set
up so that items can be sold to provide a small income …and perhaps give them
some hope for the future.

Finally, there is so much more that I would like to tell you but space
restricts me. As I sit here humbled in the company of these women, I really begin
to appreciate my freedom -I have a choice- and I can fly.  For these women, although it is meant to be a
temporary safe haven, it may also become their prison. Remember –we are a
global voice for women. Please do all you can to help women like these.

“I
am caged in this corner, full of melancholy and sorrow

My
wings are closed and I cannot fly

I
am an Afghan woman and I must wail “   

 Nadia
Anjuman

(Afghan
Poet and Journalist murdered by her husband in 2005)

SoroptimistInternational

VIEW ALL POSTS

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

GLOBAL VOICE SIGN-UP

Subscribe to receive the Soroptimist International Newsletter by email.